So, my sweet Gwendolyn has been sick this past weekend with the lovely stomach bug that's been going around. (And did I mention that Beau was out of town?) It was a LONG weekend... Because she was sick, I stayed home with her and babied her, etc. She finally started keeping food down around Monday, and Tuesday she seemed pretty much back to normal.
Now for the fun part. I took her back to daycare yesterday so I could go to work and Beau could go to class. This was definitely not what Gwen had planned for her day. She let us know in no uncertain terms that she was going to do what she wanted when she wanted. With LOTS of cajoling and after lots of tears, she finally made it to daycare. She was fine once she got there, but of course I felt guilty and stressed out about it all day. I ended up picking her up a little early to ease my guilt. When I got there, she was in the middle of singing time and did not want to leave ...of course.
This morning felt like deja vu. I tried to give Gwen extra time, this time expecting her mood. Finally I was able to get her dressed and she even let me fix her hair. As I'm trying to walk out the door with her, she throws herself down in the hallway and starts kicking her feet and screaming- a royal tantrum. So much for her cute hair. One of her shoes flies off and she is not about to go anywhere. I put everything in the car and told her that her dad would need to take her (I was already running late). As I started the car she came running to the door. We finally made it to daycare again with her sniffing the whole way. When we got in the classroom, the teachers could tell we had had a fun morning (hopefully they didn't think I had just beaten her, which is probably what it looked like with her puffy eyes and crazy hair)...I was all stressed out when I finally made it to work.
Here's my question for you- any suggestions? All of you with toddlers have probably had one of these fun experiences at one time or another. I try to give Gwen choices so she can feel in charge, but she is the queen of dawdling... And then of course, if it's not perfect, we are graced with her temper. Don't get me wrong- a lot of the time she is truly sweet. She is gentle with her baby dolls and the cat. She will snuggle with Beau and I (when she's in the mood). She's smart- she loves to learn and read books and dance. So how do I direct this independence? I've looked up a few things online and included them in case anyone else is in the same boat. I've also been told about a book called "The Strong Willed Child" from a Christian author. I may look into it. I know her energy can be directed for good (at least most of the time), so I'm working on it. Share any thoughts you'd like. :)
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3 comments:
I'm probably not of much help because I cannot stand it when Shelby throws a fit. The main thing I do is ignore her and walk away (if we're not at the store or something). I know she's just trying to get attention any way she can, positive or negative. She usually calms down pretty quickly. Another bit of advice I received years ago before I had kids was to not take it personally when your kid acts out, but rather matter-of-factly. I have a tendancy sometimes to overreact to Shelby and that just makes it worse so that advice was good for me. One last thing I've tried lately that seems to really work is when she's acting out (hitting is her new thing) I look at her and say "do you need a hug?" She almost always says yes and stops acting out for the time. Hope that helps. Good luck.
Another book that I personally love (it's on the shelf next to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - the only other parenting book I have) is by John Rosemond. He is great! The book is called 'Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children.' It's a great book and enjoyable to read.
My suggestion is this: You know when you need to leave in the morning and time is basically irrelevant to Gwen -- 5 more minutes means nothing to her. Tell her what she needs to do and then set the timer. If she finishes before the timer rings, she gets to wear a sticker on her hand. If she doesn't finish and it is time for you to go -- take her the way she is. If she has to wear her pajamas all day, she will soon realize the consequence of not finishing getting dressed in the morning. A few years ago, Grant threw a huge fit before church. He would not get dressed and was very difficult. The last thing I needed was a battle and going to church wasn't an option. So I put his church clothes into the diaper bag and took him to church in his pajamas. He was old enough to know that wearing pj's to church wasn't appropriate. Halfway through Sacrament Mtg. he decides he is ready to get dressed. It may take awhile (a bit of holding back on your part), but it will pay off. I hope that made sense!
Tantrums are hard! I don't know if one ever really gets used to handling them. Sounds like your on the right track. I truly believe in counseling with the "Original Parent" he knows exactly what will work with her, and is anxious for you to be a successful parent. He will let you know how to nurture and direct her as you sincerely ask him. You are a great Mother keep up the good work.
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